Coffee Cups

First-born and her friend are playacting. First-born is the mother of an elementary-school child. Friend is that child's teacher. Scene: the classroom, just after school ends one day.)

First-born: The reason I'm here is that we're taking [child's name] with us on a trip to Washington next week, so she won't be in class.

Friend: I'm sorry. You can't do that.

FB: Well, how would it be if you gave her her assignments for the week in advance, and she did them while we were on the trip?

F: No, I'm sorry, she can't be gone that long.

FB: How about if I pay you five thousand dollars?

F: No.

FB: How about a million?

F: OK.

FB: I'll just write you a check ...

F: Can you make it cash?

FB: OK. Just let me run to the bank.

* * *

I don't even want to know what they've been watching or reading to come up with dialogue like that. We chatted with F's mom later that evening, and we agreed that we couldn't decide what was worse -- that our child so readily offered a bribe or that her child so readily accepted.